4 months ago, about an hour before I found out exactly what had happened to Simo, I was sitting around a table with my work colleagues, eating, drinking and laughing when I noticed my manager looking at me giggling to himself. I asked what was so funny he said that I had always seemed so normal but he was starting to realise just how wrong that was. A week later I asked him if I could shave my head and his jaw dropped.
Through all the trials and hardships of these last few months, I have been forced out of my comfort zone and with it developed new confidence. People would stop and stare and I smiled back at them, I have spoken to countless people that I have never met before about my favourite person in the whole world, and I have learnt that this can actually be fun.
In the heat of last week I made the choice to wear shorts to the gym for the first time ever by telling myself “nobody paid you any more attention there than normal when you had no hair, why should they look at you now.” I stood in the changing room for a little longer than normal before hand but I did it, and this week I went and did my workout in a sports bra with no top. I don’t have a flat stomach and perfectly toned legs (yet) like some of the other girls but I’ve come to see that it doesn’t matter. I’m comfortable, I’m loved and I’m there to improve myself, there is no reason whatsoever I should feel shame.
As I mentioned in my Shave for Simo blog, Simo was an “Extroverted Introvert” and he knew I am too, but he also knew that not many people ever got to see my extroverted side. When I feel at my lowest and missing him hurts most I think of how proud he would be to see his girl become show the world who she really is.